I’ve been contacted this week by 4 estate agents, not unusual I must say, but these guys want to leave their cushy estate agent offices and become relocation agents and home finders.

The property market must be getting worse! Estate agents actually looking for work, this must be a first. Each of the four had a story to tell, boring I hear you shout, but seriously each had a familiar tone.

First EA

I’m bored, I haven’t sold a property in three months, new instructions are down, I’m the only one left in the office, and now have to work every Saturday. (poor thing)

I want a challenge, a fresh start. Id love to work for a client you respects me! and my opinion, I’m sure I can can make a living doing your job.(Seriously! You!)

Mark, can you tell me how to become a relocation agent? And what’s involved?

Second EA

There’s only two of us left in the office now, we did have 15 staff back in 2007, now just my boss and me. He never moves from his desk, just raises his head when someone looks in the window, smiles and quickly lowers his head as they quickly walk away. I, I say I, have sold two properties this month, and taken 3 new instructions. While he still sits behind his desk, watching iplayer all day long.

I’ve had enough I want a challenge, I love talking to you Mark, your job seems so much more fun and enjoyable. I’m thinking of leaving and starting a relocation business, What do you think?

Third EA

“Hi Mark, thought I’d give you a call, Thinking of starting up on my own as a relocation agent! Any thoughts?” “Yes plenty” I thought. Works hopeless at the moment, bored out of my brain. No instructions, No sales, No hope hear. I’ve got 25 years experience in this industry, I should make a great relocation agent.

Forth EA

Mark, can you help, I’ve been laid off, Found out tonight that my branch is closing down. No EA’s taking on locally, I’m not keen on driving too far, so I thought I’d see if there are any jobs at yours? With my background, I thought I’d make a great relocation agent. What do you think?

Well, to be honest, I’ve known all four estate agents for years, and have got to know them quite well and seriously, NO, you would all make terrible relocation agents. You’ve no tact, no communication skills, and you really don’t know what it is to work, let alone work hard, I mean really work hard.

You all work 9-5 and switch off go home, probably moan to your partners how hard your days been and how hard you’ve worked.

Non of you have ever stopped over on a Friday evening or for that matter, any evening or even given me your mobile number, when I’ve asked for it. You’ve made me wait until Monday morning before being able to make an offer or get a response from your own client.

The Forth EA advised his vendor to renegotiate the asking price on the day before we exchanged on one of his sales. (the bastard). Telling your vendor that, you knew me well and I would accept a new higher offer. (you bold faced liar). Now you know WHY you’re unemployed!

Seriously, I sometimes wish I could switch off at 5pm, But we can’t, because this is when our clients are free, either at home or finally out of meetings, this is really when we get to talk, meet with our clients, Taking calls and booking meetings or meeting clients face-to-face.

We meet most of our new clients after work (that’s anti-social hours to you EA’s) between 5pm & 10pm or before work between 6am & 9am.

We spend our days, researching, doing drive-by’s, internal viewing, visiting estate agents, and private vendors. And organising client viewings. We drive over 40,000miles per year.

We pay for 100’s of cups of tea and coffee, light bites, lunches out.

I usually have to trick estate agents into giving me a coffee, while they search their filing cabinets for every property they have; except the ones I’ve asked for.

We meet clients on both Saturday and Sundays, including the evenings; We get phone calls at anytime upto 10pm.

So, Seriously, Estate Agents, do you really think you could hack all that hard work?…..

I DON’T THINK SO